I've been pulling flat whites since I was 26. Three cafes, ten-plus years, conservatively 100,000 flat whites. I've made them half asleep at 5:30am. I've made them under pressure during a 200-cover brunch rush. I've made them for coffee judges and for tradies who just want something hot and strong.

Here's how to make one at home that doesn't taste like a home coffee.

What you need

Step 1: The espresso

Dose 18-20g of freshly ground coffee into your portafilter. Tamp firmly and evenly - don't press at an angle. Lock in and pull your shot. You're aiming for 36-40ml of espresso in about 25-30 seconds. If it runs too fast, grind finer. Too slow, grind coarser.

The shot should look like warm honey dripping from the spout. If it's gushing out in 10 seconds, your grind is too coarse. If it's barely dripping after 35 seconds, too fine. Dial it in - this is where most home baristas give up, but it's the most important part.

Step 2: The milk

This is where flat whites live or die. The milk needs to be textured, not frothed. You're not making a cappuccino - you don't want a mountain of foam. You want silky, glossy, microfoam that pours like wet paint.

  1. Fill your jug to just below the spout - about 200ml of cold milk.
  2. Purge your steam wand. Always.
  3. Submerge the tip of the wand just below the surface of the milk, angled slightly off-centre.
  4. Introduce air for the first 2-3 seconds only. You should hear a gentle "tss-tss" sound - like paper tearing. This creates the microfoam. If it sounds like a jet engine, the tip is too high.
  5. After those first few seconds, sink the tip deeper and let the milk spin. You're heating it now, not adding more air. It should be silent and the milk should be swirling in a vortex.
  6. Stop when the jug is too hot to hold comfortably - around 60-65°C. If you scald it past 70°C, it's ruined. Start again.

When you're done, the milk should look like wet white paint. No visible bubbles. Glossy surface. If you tap the jug on the bench and swirl it, it should look like melted ice cream.

Step 3: The pour

Pour immediately - don't let the milk sit. Tilt your cup, start pouring from about 10cm high into the centre of the espresso. As the cup fills, bring the jug closer to the surface and slow down. The crema should blend with the milk into a consistent brown-gold colour.

A flat white is about 150-180ml total - smaller than a latte, bigger than a macchiato. The ratio is roughly one-third espresso, two-thirds milk. The milk should integrate with the espresso, not sit on top of it.

The mistakes everyone makes

Or you could just come visit us at 5:30am and let us make it for you. No judgement either way.